Friday, September 21, 2012

9/21/12


Sorry for the long delay, again.   There were some internet outages which prevented me posting what I had written 10 days before, but that is not all.

 

I had been happy to be back at work, and busy.  We have been admitting like crazy, and discharging nearly as many to keep our  beds with no more than 2 kids each, sometimes 3.

 

I said had as I took another few days to invest my time in fluid intake and SRO.  And, thankfully have recovered with only oral hydration and although not yet up to par, am doing much better after only a day and a half.  I can say that I had been drinking a ton of water, but it seemed like a lot more before I calculated it out.  Based on some calculations, my insensible water losses are near 5 L per day based on the temperature here, and my maintenance fluid requirements would also be somewhere between 5 and 6 L per day.  I'm sure maintenance fluids take into account some sensible losses, just probably not those in Africa.  Regardless, my goal today has been 5- 6 L over the period of 8 am to 8 pm, and it is much harder and much more of a chore than I had thought.  In retrospect I can identify several times of dehydration especially in Midwest summers, but also in West Virginia.  And...based on urine output, I'm pretty sure I have been chronically dehydrated for most of my medical years!  (Still can't believe how time consuming and interrupting it is to have a normal urine output!)

 

I read an article by the WHO (World Health Organization) to try to come up with a more accurate and adequate goal to set for myself.  It immediately talked about the ill effects of dehydration, and for some reason that annoyed me.  I wanted the calculation, darn it!  But, as I read through, a lot of things made sense!  These calculations are based on % weight loss, assuming that weight is usually pretty steady and the losses therefore can be attributed to water loss…

  • Fluid loss of 1% of body weight - thirst and impaired thermoregulation
  • 2% - more thirst and lack of appetite
  • 3% - dry mouth
  • 4% - 20-30% decrement in work capacity
  • 5% - difficulty concentrating, sleepiness and headache
  • 6% - numbness and tingling of the extremities
  • 7% - collapse
  • 10% - life threatening

I had made it up to the 6% milestone yesterday, and was closer to 7% the time before, when I received IV fluids.  My % loss since arriving in Africa is closer to 9%, but that is only mostly dehydration and partly not eating for a couple of weeks (which I was relieved to see occurs at 2% dehydration!)

 

I just had an interesting conversation with a lady I respect, trust and admire exceedingly, and only in a few weeks time.  I can respect and admire people easily enough, although with time that usually gives way to being real.  Not that it is lost, it is just transformed into something that looks less like a pedestal and more like a hug.  Trust on the other hand is another thing.  I can trust others easily, insofar as I don't have to trust them with myself - my thoughts, feelings, health, etc.  I have, in a sense, been forced into all of these.  And surprisingly, even thankfully.  Anyway, we were chatting and she said that relationships here are kinda on fast forward.  In the states, when you move into a neighborhood, you may be there for 5-10 years, and you have time to meet the neighbors and build relationships.  On the other hand, there is a grocery store so close, there is little need for you to run over to the neighbors for any little thing.  Here...we live closely, and everybody knows what is going on with everybody!  You rely on your neighbors for so much.  And...people are here for varying lengths of time - if you were to wait around for the small talk, you would never get to much else of some of the short termers before their departures.  She also said that a relationship is built on mutual dependency.  In other words, for there to exist a strong relationship, both people have to need each other.  It is not hard for me to identify my needs.  I suppose that is quite selfish, but real.  I have no idea what I can offer in return, let alone what I may offer.  On one hand, this seemed like a foreign concept, but on the other, I can easily identify why many of my relationships have suffered - because I felt as if I was taking advantage of the relationship and getting so much out of it without being able to offer something in return.  To protect myself from being too greedy or needy, I inserted the distance, and the relationship often crumbled as a result.  Other than being an intriguing thought, it does motivate me to seek some guidelines for such interactions, friendships and relationships.  I would be more than happy to oblige if I knew what I could offer.

 

Part of the lack of writing has also been too much fun!  There were 5 of us STAs (Short Term Associates or "the short termers" ie, the folks that are here for 1month to 1 year, but are not full-time missionaries) here for the past 5-6 weeks, and we have dinner together 2-4 nights a week.  I made tortillas from scratch for a Mexican type meal - using what was available.  I had a can of kidney beans and canned corn mixed with some taco seasoning and onions, homemade salsa (with the assistance of a package of salsa seasoning, and some cabbage lightly grilled and sautéed in onions with the juice from the corn to be the lettuce substitute.  Our lone male stopped by, and seeing the menu offered to bring his meat over to be made into hamburger, and then seasoned for the occasion.  The other part of these get-togethers, has been to share our stories, and what brought us to Niger.  I love hearing other's stories.  It helps you really get to see the nitty-gritty moments that have defined each, and what each person really values.  I love them up until the time it is my turn.  Then I would rather cook dinner, change the subject or be on-call in an attempt to avert, postpone or somehow delay the inevitable.  In reality, I was allowed the prized spot of last to go, and Lisa was, in fact, on call.  My only real incentive for a timely disclosure was the fear that more people would be coming shortly, and it would be better to share with people I have come to know and appreciate, than in front of any new audience.  It wasn't that I didn't have time to fret or ponder or prepare… I did.  The five talks spanned over the course of two weekends, and a few days in between...they were all impressive and remarkable.  5 generations of missionaries in one family, a desire to be a missionary in all of the others, a beaming with the telling of the story, deep hurts and life transformations.  It is amazing how humans, with the right perspective, can turn tragedy into blessings.

 

My procrastination led to the night before I was sure it would be my turn.  I spent hours in preparation.  I wrote out an outline, then even used the voice recorder on my phone to talk through it out loud.  Despite my preparation, I opted for a notes free approach, but didn't have the confidence for anything but momentary glimpses of eye contact.  When all was said and done, there were polite thank yous, and I was still alive. 

 

Anyway...enough about me, and more about the amazing patients!! 

 

There was one gentleman in his 30s who came in.  There is something memorable and haunting in some of the faces, and he fit into that category.  He was very thin, and walked as a man 3 times his age; barely able to straighten himself up to walk to the exam chair in front of my desk.  He complained of abdominal pain and a mass in his belly.  From looking at his belly, you could see that his liver extended nearly down to his pelvis, and it was hard and indurated.  He was wasted and gaunt.  I invited him back to the ultrasound exam are to confirm it was all liver, and it was.  The surgeon's had seen him three months prior and had called it a hepatoma, but it had doubled in size during that time.  I sent him for a chest X-Ray after not being able to hear breath sounds on the right side.  The breath sounds were absent as the air exchange capacity had been filled with fluid, leaving his lung space on that side to about 1/8th of what it should have been.  Despite that, his breathing was not too labored.  I offered to stick a needle in it.  It would be hard to miss!  The other reason of taking off some fluid was for diagnosis - perhaps it was from TB and he could respond to treatment.  After pulling off 1200 ml of straw colored fluid 50-60 mls at a time, I had a deep respect for this man.  He had hope for a different answer than he had been give before, he had a quiet strong way about him, and he was patient as I pulled off syringe after syringe of fluid.  After my endeavor, I listened to his breathing and was thrilled with the return of sound where it had once been absent.  He was breathing and feeling better!  (And all of this without anesthesia, and no repeat chest X-Ray could be done because of time or cost.)  I asked him to come back the next day to discuss the results of the fluid.  He found me in the under 5 clinic, where he looked a bit out of place with all the women and children, but he had claimed a space in my heart, and I fit him in amongst the children.  The results were negative for TB, which should be reassuring, but it meant that this was cancer, and that there was nothing at this hospital or in this country, or arguably given the stage, at any hospital in any country.  I listened to his breath sounds, and was disheartened by the silence.  Overnight, likely all of the fluid I had pulled off had reaccumulated.  What now could I offer this man?  I desperately wanted to do something more than I could.  I offered him a chance to come back and speak with an evangelist on a day of his choosing.  My local interpreter versed more in the local customs than that of the missionaries asked me, what will this do for him?  I wished I had a better answer.  One that I could say out loud, and one that he would be willing to translate.  I admitted there was little we could offer medically.  We could give him something for pain (but we have no narcotics) and could potentially try to drain more fluid off his lung, but it would only re-accumulate by the next day.  The evangelists could talk with him about life, and death, and provide support.  Perhaps this man had dreams that he wanted to share or delve into deeper…

 

It was a day of needles!

 

Earlier in the afternoon a boy came in with a swollen and tender thigh after receiving quinine injection there to treat malaria.  I stuck a needle in and drew out a syringe full of frank puss.  I delivered patient and pus to the surgeons, and he was offered surgery the next day.

 

There was another cute little boy who came to see me.  He had been bitten by a dog, and the story was suspicious for rabies.  The dog had also bitten another child, who was somehow related to the first.  The dog was acting weird, foaming at the mouth, and also bit some goats.  We don't have anti-venom, but treatment with a tetanus vaccine and the rabies vaccine are worth trying, despite the cost (the cost of the vaccines for today, was about $100.00 USD.  The annual per capita income in this country is only $300!  There is a series of vaccinations, and I'm not sure if the fee was for all of them, or if it was for just the one.)  Part of the goal of the shot is to get it to activate as many lymph nodes as possible for best mounting of the immune response, and as a result, the shot is divided up into 8 intradermal injections - 2 each over the upper arm, 2 each on the lower abdomen, 2 each on the thighs, and 2 each on the upper back.  Plus the tetanus vaccines, that is a lot of shots I had to give those kids - and that is after cleansing the bites with soap and water for 5 minutes, and cleaning with iodine.  I knew the tetanus would be the worst, and to save the trust of the kids for as long as possible, I save it for last.

 

I had a 14 year old girl who came in for malaria.  She needed a blood transfusion.  Her lungs were filled with wheezes, but she had no history of asthma.  (Some have said that asthma is very rare in the tropics, and more of a disease of industrialized countries.  Others have disagreed, pointing to the immense amount of dust, allergens and living conditions. )  Tropical diseases can present with wheeze, but I treated her for asthma first (and the malaria and severe anemia.)  I don't know if I mentioned this before, but only folks with severe anemia get transfused.  If your hemoglobin is greater than 5, don't even think about it!  (Normal for a male is 13-16, and for a female 12-14, more or less.)  Anyway, the wheezes were worse the next day, and instead of the pill for of albuterol, I gave her regular turns at the nebulized albuterol.  The following day the lungs were markedly cleared, but there was a noise over her heart that sounded like a machine.  I initially called it a murmur, but was later convinced that it was, without a doubt, the worst pericardial effusion I have ever heard!  The sound was her heart, rubbing against blood in the sac that was supposed to provide silent lubrication.  She also had a bit of puff to her eyes, and she was spilling massive amounts of protein.  The steroids I had started on admission to clear her lungs, should help her kidneys, too.  When she wasn't getting better to my expectations, I rechecked, and her blood count had dropped from a hematocrit of 14 (hemoglobin of about 4.7) to 9 (a hemoglobin of 3), I requested she get more blood.  Ocham's razor is a principle in medicine, if not other things, that suggests that most symptoms can be summed up by one diagnosis.  Africa has never heard of Ocham.  She has a parasite - malaria, causing anemia.  She also has loss of blood into her pericardial sac, exacerbating the blood loss, and preventing the normal function of the heart.  Her kidneys are injured enough to be spilling protein, causing the swelling in her face and feet.  On the differential to link the kidneys and the heart, probably more susceptible due to malaria and aneamia, are TB (which is always in the differential), post-strep throat infection affecting the kidneys, viral infection, rhematologic infection - lupus, etc.  We don't have tests to differentiate.  We can treat, and watch, wait and pray.

 

An even more impressively swollen child came in, and it wasn't limited to her face and feet.  Her face looked like it hurt it was so swollen, and her prepubescent seven year old chest was flat as can be despite a belly greater than that of a pregnancy 40 weeks in gestation.  I desperately wanted to stick a needle in and drain off as much as I could.  But, at only 7, would she permit me or understand that I was trying to help, while holding still enough that I could, without anesthesia, introduce a needle into her belly, and take the time to draw off liter after liter of fluid so that she could sit up and breathe better.  She was so young and was in great respiratory distress, although she was stoic through it all.  Any hole I poked in her would continue leaking for some time to come.  We opted to admit her for medical management - a lot of diuretics to try to get her to pee the fluid off her body.  After seeing how she could barely move her now bloated to 60 kg/120 lb body, I thought it would be generous to offer a foley - a catheter to drain the bladder so that she didn't have to get up each time.  She was diffusely swollen, even down there.  A day later, she seemed to breathe a little bit better despite lying down flat, but her belly was just as big, and her thighs were leaking fluid from the sites she had received the malaria injections.  (Oral pills wouldn't be well absorbed because her intestines would be just as swollen as the rest of her body; and IV quinine causes hypoglycemia at rates greater than our ability to check blood sugars.)

 

Another beautiful girl came in for evaluation of a rash.  I saw that note before I saw the child.  I would have said that someone tried to burn her face off.  Starting a centimeter below the hair line, and going down to the mid cheek.  There were a few other spots, that appeared as blisters that had lost their tops and dried up on her arms and legs, but on her face, they had coalesced and her face was down to raw, red tissue.  There was nothing to debride.  There had been no burn.  The rash started one week before, but she was eating well, and it didn't seem to bother her too much.  After no resolution with some kind of red pain ?medicine from a neighboring village, they came to us.  I was concerned about scarring, and being able to keep her eyes open.  An optometrist used an instrument to open her eyes, and the whites were still white - completely unaffected by what was going on on the skin surface!  I covered her with antibiotics for her face and pneumonia, gave two different antibiotics to protect the eyes, and ordered wound care.  Her face was raw and red, but somehow looked better the next day, and she was still happy, eating and playful!  I consulted both of my medical mentors.  I had thought perhaps it was the ominous beetle bug that is running rampant here.  If it lands on you, you get a huge blister.  Wherever that liquid touches, also turns to blister.  The mother denied it, and one of the doctors said a mom would know if a bug fell on the face of her 9 month old.  With as many bugs as are here, I would be surprised!  The other differential was bullous impetigo.  There were no visible bullae, but they are fragile and could pop before we could see them.  The other doctor agreed that it could be the blister beetle.  As before, diagnosis matters less than treatment, and she was getting better!  The other suggestion to add to her management, to prevent scarring, was aloe.  I cut off a large frawn from right outside my house, and sent it up to her with Lisa.  The mom was very appreciative.  Anything...if it can save this beautiful girl's face from a huge scar across her forehead and cheeks!

 

I love storms.  I love storms at the Oregon Coast.  I love the storms that refresh the air like a shower cleans and refreshes.  I like storms that leave the air cooled.  Storms in WV and in the Caribbean often times left the air hot and muggy.  In Oregon, and in Africa,  the storms cool.  The sky seems to crack open with light, the rains get serious an down pour.  Nothing is left to guess.  You will be wet.  The sounds of the storm are so loud.  The thunder piercing, and then rolling, the rain hitting the tin roofs, and hitting off the dry ground. It sounds more like the conjoined effort of a faucet pouring than an individual drip drip.  The winds blow through the screens, the bars and the upturned glass.  The curtains dance with a refreshed energy too.  Occasionally there is a puddle in the house; that makes one dust free clean spot on the cement floor.  Walking is tricky.  The dust and dirt turn to a thick mud, that oozes over flip-flops, and down between the toes.  Sometimes the mud threatens to claim the flip-flops and the best alternative, and with the same end result, only quicker speed, is to take them off and walk through the mud: same amount of squishing, same color feet when arriving at your destination.  The only question in a medical mind may be injury - glass, rocks, parasites.  I love the silhouette of trees as the lightning offers but glimpse of light.  I love storms. 

 

I was told today, based on my troubles with dehydration, Africa may not be the place for me.  It was slightly dis-settling.  I am not one to cross off options only because someone has suggested so.  I would more likely consider increased hydration, and decreased weight as better solutions.  But there was a sting to it, and it provoked thought.

9/11/12


To day was day two back at work.  It was nice to get back at it again, after so long away.

 

My first day back I was also on call!  Which is a long way to start a day.  I rounded on a few of Lisa's patients in the morning, and then had a small rest before late morning, and again before afternoon clinic.  I was back in the under 5 year old clinic, PMI, and admitted patient after patient.  Definitely more than I sent home!  But, that is the way the system is designed.  The first stop is to gather pertinent information including weight and temperature, as nearly every medication is based on weight in kids, and so many kids with malaria have fever!  Then, two other well trained guys (I'm not sure of their title, but perhaps they are "screeners" see the patients.)  The recognize and can treatment many common complaints according to the protocol.  The ones that need admission, or the derm cases, or the complicated cases get a little note that says, "see dr."  And then they become the admission, or the baffling derm case or the next severely malnourished kid, or the nephrotic syndrome...

 

For the first time, I had a patient I walked up to the wards to try to hasten the process.  I listened to a faint heart beat in the clinic, and even fainter heartbeat over in the hospital, and the third time I listened, silence.  There was no wailing.  Tears and strain were obvious on mom's face, dad made a phone call and they picked up their child, slung him on mom's back, and they were out the door.  The child had severe anemia from malaria, and the conjunctiva were the whitest I'd yet seen.  Even with a transfusion stat, I'm not sure it would have been enough.  As it was, nothing was enough.  We were too late.

 

There were some borderline sick kids I sent to get labs before making a final determination on whether or not they needed to be admitted (mostly based on whether or not they would need a blood transfusion.)  After the lab closed, they were all sent back to clinic.  Most of those needed admission, just to get the labs drawn and the blood donation and transfusion process started.

 

While we still had probably 30 kids to see in clinic, I was sent up to the ER to handle the emergencies, since I was on call.  I admitted patient after patient after patient.  At 9:30, the coast was finally clear, and I made my way home to gather my laundry off the line, and find something to eat!  Good think I had practiced not eating for so most of the past two weeks!  (Joking, kind of…)

 

Throughout the night, about every 2 hours, I had another phone call.  One was a 60 year old with hematemesis (vomiting blood).  I questioned whether or not it was hemoptysis (spitting blood) because I only ever saw her spitting, and no blood.  After asking her to breathe deeply to listen to her lungs, the vomiting blood began, and within a few minutes she had produced about  500 ml of bright red blood.  I wrote for a hematocrit, but that wouldn't be done until morning.  There are no IV H2 or PPIs, and not even the oral meds would be available till the morning when the pharmacy opened.  I couldn't give her blood, or a PPI drip, or octreotide or vasopressin.  I could give her IV fluids, keep her NPO, and try to control her vomiting and cough with metoclopramide and phenergan.  When I checked on her this morning, she was resting, and had no further vomiting.  Part of the difficulty is knowing the diagnosis and source.  Was it a ulcer that eroded a blood vessel, a pulmonary process, cancer?  We may never know.  100% of the population here has H. pylori by the age of 5, likely by the age of 2.  It is a bacteria that protects itself from the acidity of the stomach with a clever lining, and goes about its business of eroding through the stomach wall, sometimes into blood vessels that lay beyond.  Most likely this was the source.  We treat these patients who are bleeding for H. pylori.  The treatment with four medications is too costly to treat everyone who has H. pylori present (which is everyone) and would need to be repeated frequently.

 

After that urgent call I wasn't even able to fall asleep before the next came in - a baby with pneumonia.  The baby was using every muscle possible to help get air in, and the lungs sounded horrible.  After covering the bases with antibiotics and malaria treatment, and increasing the oxygen by nasal cannula to 5 L/minute, I knew I had done what I could for the night.  The baby was working way to hard, but was holding his own.   This  morning, the oxygen requirements were down minimally, but still tremendous effort was being exerted just to breathe.  This afternoon, I went by and the oxygen was at 2.5 Liters.  I should not have taken that as a reassuring sign and should have rechecked the saturation.  The next time I came by, the bed was empty and the chart was in the pile of death certificates to sign.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

I'm back! 9/9/12


I last wrote on a Tuesday, and that was well over a week ago.  Sorry loyal readers!  I have a lot more to say when I can talk about other's illnesses instead of my own!

 

I should have tried to write something, because my memory of the last week is not stellar; it all seems a blur.  I'll attempt to recount some of the events… 

 

Last week Monday was a long, hard day in clinic, due to a cold and a whole ton of very sick patients.  Tuesday I rounded on a few, ran home for a short break (and because I was going to be sick again), and got a phone call saying, my patients were being taken care of, stay home and get well.  (I reread my last entry to know that all was true, from here on out I'm a bit fuzzy on the details…) 

 

I felt much better by Wednesday and was able to round (although on very few patients since I hadn't admitted any the day before.  I was able to rest for two hours between rounds and clinic, and then another two hours between morning and afternoon clinics.  The patient load was much lighter!  I was about to see the last patient, and we would be finished by about 5:15, instead of the typical 6 pm.  I then had that horrible sense I was going to be sick again.  I went to the back of the clinic room, where there was a sink, and was able to get rid of that panicked feeling of impending emesis.  The relief must not have yet cleared my face because Lisa walked in at about the same time, and sent me home.  She offered to see the last patient who had already patiently waited all day.  My interpreter walked me home (and wouldn't accept no for an answer) and then let me know that I have to be honest with him, because we are a team now! 

 

Impending emesis became actualized, and was present after anything I put in my mouth.  I drank Gatorade, water and  SRO (also known as ORS or oral rehydration salts) a horrible salty liter of fluid that has balanced salt and sugar to that of the body to be optimally reabsorbed and to replenish lost electrolytes.  I ate an apple here, a piece of toast there, some ramen at times.  It all came back.  Although terribly thirsty I had to limit myself to one or two sips at a time to try to trick my system into keeping it down.  Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.  So the pattern continued for the rest of the week.  In general, most of the time I felt relatively well, but would feel miserable and exhausted for a short period of time after each episode of emesis.  I took cough medicine, Tums and Zofran, to no avail.

 

I was feeling a little weak but hadn't had any emesis overnight, so on Sunday morning I went up to the hospital.  I had traded call days to have an extra day of rest, and so although I really had no patients at this point, I could see Lisa's, admit some of my own, and then be ready to go on Monday!  I got up to the entrance about the same time Dr. KL arrived and he asked me, what at the time I thought was an unfair question.  He asked me if I had thrown up in the last 24 hours.  The answer to that was yes, but let's look at the last 12 hours, that was great!  Perhaps my sites were too short, or he recognized something that I didn't.  When my answer was yes, he sent me home, again. 

 

I was pretty tired by the time I got home again, and the hospital is not far!  When he finished with rounds he came by again, and finding a blank lab order form on my kitchen table, recommended I get some labs drawn.  I got some SRO for the road, and walked back up toward the hospital.  Labs were drawn without a glitch, and called to Dr. KL at some point later.  Creatinine 0.9 [0.6-1.2], sodium 149 [135-145], potassium 5.2 [3.5-5].  (My potassium hadn't been > 3.5 for most of the past year, but for other reasons!)  So, the labs looked reasonable.  My creatinine is usually 0.6, so it had bumped a little, but in general, everything was relatively close to normal and could be explained by being a little dehydrated.

 

Lisa came over at one point, enjoying her first day off since arrival, and asked if I wanted her to bring a book over and read here for a while, just to be here.  I'm not sure why I said yes, and I don't know that I normally would have, but she was here.  I don't remember any deep conversations but just kept resting knowing she was nearby. 

 

The biggest change about Sunday was pain.  Throughout the whole week prior, I had never had any pain.  No headaches, no belly pain, no hunger pain, nothing.  Sunday, my belly felt like it was going to explode.  I couldn't identify it as anything specific, but as it was suprapubic my differential included my uterus or my bladder.  My bladder was empty and I hadn't been making urine again, so it wasn't that it was too distended or anything.  And, thankfully I can't ever recall having my uterus itself cause me any pain or discomfort.  I have a brilliant friend who once admitted that she was having an "uter-ache."  I understood the pain she was describing, and thought, what an insightful and clever term!  Regardless, there was a constant pain, exacerbated by movement, and unable to be relieved.

 

By Sunday afternoon, my bedroom was transformed into a hospital room.  An IV was started on the first try, after much searching and praying!  I can be a hard stick when dehydrated!  (I even remember once getting stuck in the jugular, but that was years ago!)  It took two liters before I was able to urinate again, and before I could appreciate that I again had visitors. 

 

I had been prayed for at church, which for the folks on the compound is on Sunday nights.  Up until that time many people didn't know I was sick - the doctor's are uusally so busy, you don't expect to see them on a daily basis!   I remember some faces, but mostly I remember that all the ladies were wearing blue! 

 

Laughter really is good medicine, and finding that Lisa had left her book (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) earlier in the day, it was commandeered and read out loud to me.   People stayed with me for a couple hours at a time, and one brought a cot, and camped in my room for the night.  When I was able to safely ambulate to the bathroom on my own and carry my fluids with me, I was allowed some time alone. 

 

The IV fluids overnight allowed me to urinate twice, which for the liters going in admittedly isn't much, but it was more than the few days prior!   I had had so much vomiting I got dehydrated, and then after 4 and a half liters of fluids (I'm sure it would have been 6 or 7, but my IV infiltrated, and the back of my hand became very puffy and swollen, so I was off the hook, and line!  Hehe.  Get it?  :)  ), instead of doing something productive like continuing to make urine, mostly it was just all horrible amounts of diarrhea.  After two days of Cipro and after a couple Imodium, I felt so much better, and hoped to return to work on Wednesday! 

 

The funny thing about making urine, is that then you have to go to the bathroom, and sometimes that just takes time.  Not until after getting all those fluids and drinking liters of oral rehydration did I really realize how little urine I had been making.  

 

I really thought that in the face of illness, I would be strong and handle things well, but all that went out the door after the first week.  As I mentioned before, I never had hunger pain, even though I ate almost nothing.  I never really had any pain until Sunday, and that was when I had abdominal pain like nothing I'd ever felt.  It literally hurt to move.  By that point I wasn't peeing, again, so at least that was a blessing not to have to move (before I got the IV)!  Then, after all the IVF, instead of urine, as I said before, it was all diarrhea.  Which also was associated with some belly pain, but better than the day before.  After about 12 such rendezvous with the baÑo for the aforementioned, I was quite discouraged.  I cried. 

 

I don't cry.  I thought I hadn't cried for probably 10 years since my grandmother died!  (After thinking about this more closely, I cried on the flight on the way back from Kenya.  (I think Katy was sleeping.)  I was frustrated that the one thing I had hoped to accomplish while in Kenya, I had failed to do, and I felt like I had wasted an incredible opportunity.  Don't get me wrong, it was a great introduction to medicine in Africa, it was great for providing me with concrete examples of why I was still interested in the International Fellowship, and it gave me a better perspective and helped revive myself in multiple ways.) 

 

Anyway, I was so frustrated.  When I was asked why, the obvious things that came to mind were: I came here to work and learn medicine in Africa, not stay in my bed and be a patient; I am a very private person and African mission society is a very loving, connected, community endeavor; and possibly the tip of the ice berg, was that I was spending so much time in the bathroom, and it was much hotter than my room as there was no fan.  I searched for a plug-in, in case I did need to just camp out in the bathroom for a while, and I couldn't find one.  I think that was the culminating, push over the proverbial hump, tears welling up and cascading out, straw that broke the camel's back.

 

 So...strong...not so much.  A complete dependence on God?  That would have been nice, but that hasn't been part of our interaction up until this point.  I have really struggled with having a "relationship," trusting and loving Him, and being loved by Him. 

 

 Lisa went on a walk at one point, and came back and said, you need to ask God what this was all about; there is something God is trying to teach you through this...  I think my lesson was that I do need to have complete dependence on God.  That I really do have to let go of thinking I am doing the right things for myself and let Him take care of me.  It was against everything I have ever done to have people walking in and spending time with me (when I'm well, fine, but when I am leaking nastiness from every orifice...eck.)  Until I was strong enough to walk to the bathroom myself, someone was with me 'round the clock!  I knew I had gotten into trouble by doing my own thing, and not that I wasn't going to participate in my own care, I vowed to do what I was told for 48 hours.  I drank what I was told, ate what I was told, and I got better.  If these guys are giving me SRO, what better gifts would a loving Father give me?!?  (I still can't categorize SRO appropriately.  On one hand the taste would put it in the stone, snake, scorpion category, whereas the obvious benefits I got from it put it in the bread, fish, egg category!  It was made with love, kool-aid, and sugar in an attempt to mask the salt, and that helped tremendously!)

 

The time has passed and I have felt better daily. 

 

When I was strong enough to hold a book, I would read.  I finished Evidence Not Seen,  Surgeon on Safari, No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency and Sword and Scalpel (and I am not a fast reader!)  Evidence I've mentioned before, Surgeon on Safari was about an orthopedic surgeon who took his 9 kids to Kenya for a year long, short term mission trip, Sword and the Scalpel was about Bob Foster in Zambia and Angola, and the Detective Agency was set in Botswana.  Each book was about Africa or Missions, and I saw over and over in the missionary books, how often these folks were in prayer, how deep their faith was in God, especially when they were in circumstances beyond their abilities, and how they could see God through suffering. 

 

Wednesday I felt so well I started to unpack my trunks!  (I know, how many layers of insight can I read into that one!)  On Thursday I was told I still couldn't work, but that I could walk around the compound, with an emphasis on the fact that it was in the direction opposite the hospital. I walked, but I was quite dizzy again and back for another liter of SRO.  On Friday, I got added instruction, that not only was I not going to go back to work till Monday, and not only was I supposed to walk around the compound, but talk to his wife!  They live on the far end of the compound, and although I had made two full circuits the day before, I had never stopped in to say, Hi!. 

 

So, Friday I stopped in, and hours later emerged.  I had one of the most enjoyable conversations I've ever had and read a children's book called, Monkey Crosses the Equator.  The monkey is at the equator, but doesn't feel any different when he swings from a tree in the Northern Hemisphere to the Southern Hemisphere.  The moral of the story is that you may not see a difference right away, but, "the further you go, the more you will know where you are, and where you are going, and the more you will feel it."  I also got a book of a few bible studies that I am excited to work through.

 

This weekend I've been trying to eat more, walking more, resting and getting my strength up.  Tomorrow, I am excited to go back to work, and be on call!  It is kinda like having a first day again, but without the stress or anxiety of the unknown! 

 

Thanks for your concern and prayers.  It was a very long, hard road for a while there, but I am so thankful for the love and support of my neighbors - strangers who have become family.  Despite the love and all the lessons learned, I am so ready to be a functioning member of this community again!